Lacey Unplugged; on Why Being From A Single Parent Family Will Not Be My Demise

It seems like every time I turn around these days, I hear someone commenting on "how the kids are going to turn out" or someone gasping or looking at me like Im a beaten kitten at the fact that Im parentless.  Let me tell you something, we already know it can be shitty, we dont need the help.  But thanks anyway?

Actually, its not even that shitty.  Its just the way our life happens to be.  Some people cant walk or talk or read or do lots of "normal" things, and that doesnt make their life "shitty", it just makes it different.  Your family background is the same.  Of course the family splashed all over the latest volume of the Sears catalogue, draped in jewel toned cardigans and swooning over their healthy-hipped middle aged Golden Retriever makes the illusion seem achievable and wonderful, but maybe its all just that... an illusion.

I know tons of kids who come from single parent homes who are some of the most fantastic people I know.  They learn at a young age what compromise is all about and they absolutely learn early about struggle and broken hearts.  Im not saying this is good for a kid, but lets face it, its not exactly uncommon.  These kids also empathize with other kids going through the same situation and learn to be a shoulder to lean on at an early age.  Im also not saying that kids from loving, two-parent homes are not empathetic or fantastic, but you can read about them on every magazine shelf in the world... this is a post for the 'screwed up' kids.

Im not exactly sure what society considers normal.  What is the family goal we all want to achieve for our future families? What exactly are we aiming for?  This is what I hear...

Single parent - "Oh that poor parent, it must be so hard.  Working all the time to the pay the bills, who even helps little Timmy with his math homework?  No wonder he looked so sad at the Christmas Concert"    In reality, little Timmy probably has the best math marks in the class and was just pissed off at the Christmas Concert because he was forced to be the donkey in the school play (that we all hated being in, by the way lol)

Dual Parent- "Oh must be nice to be little Timmy, having his mom home all the time to make his lunch and help him with his math homework,  he probably looked so sad at the Christmas Concert because his parents didnt give him a new car for Christmas... little spoiled brat."  Yup.  I actually hear this, too.  Kids from two parent homes are always "spoiled" and "ungrateful" because they come from a cakewalk of a life (didnt you know?!)

Foster Parent/Any other living arrangement that people dont hear about EVERY DAY- "Oh poor little Timmy, doesnt stand a chance.  Did you hear that most kids in gangs these days come from similar backgrounds? I hope my kid doesnt befriend that hoodrat, he will get him in all sorts of trouble.  No wonder he looked so sad at the Christmas Concert"  Nope.. Timmy looked sad at the Christmas Concert because the rock in his shoe is pissing him off and he cant take it out because everyone is watching him.

Single parent homes are judged because dont give enough support to the child, but then mixed families with stepmoms and dads are judged because their is just too much going on and the kid doesnt get the attention he/she needs. And then, MY GOD, we have same sex marriages who apparently cant raise a decent child or polygamous households who also cant do anything right.  Then we judge families of different race or religion, too!  The judging just never ends.

I can tell you something right now... the only people who ever made me feel weird or like I was not going to be as good as kids from a "normal" household, were grown ass adults who laid their judgements on me.  But dont worry, they sugar coated it with a head pat and a long face, accompanied with a long "awwwwww....." before they spewed their negative blanket of bullshit all over me.

Sleeping  for a week at moms house, and then a week at dads house is NOT going to mess up your kid.  Making them feel like they are different because of that, WILL mess up your kid.  They are KIDS!  They dont know shit from shoe polish, let alone what a "normal family situation" is.   And what is a normal family situation, anyways?  This is their reality, its not their fault, so dont make them feel like they are going to be the next Timothy McVeigh because mom happens to live a couple km down the road.

I guess what I am trying to say here, is that everyone faces struggles with their family as NO family is perfect.  I feel like its the outsiders judgement and treatment towards these families that create the real issues.  I personally know drug addicted gang members who come from great homes and I also personally know more than one doctor who managed their way through life just fine from a single parent family. However, I also know a few drug addicts from broken homes and a doctor from a great home... and I know tons of folks in between all the barriers who turned out to be jusssst fine.  We need to do less profiling of specific kids and start giving a little more support to ALL kids... but keep in mind, its the folks who know struggle that create an empathetic and compassionate world, and with that, Ill take being a 'screwed up' kid any day of the week.

the divine in me honours the divine in you

Yoga.  Whatta thing it is.

I was freaked out by yoga for a million years, finally got up the nerve to check it out, was bored bloody senseless and then, after another million years, decided to give it another whirl.  I skipped the YMCA class and tried it out at a cute studio completely dedicated to the practice and I. Fell. In. Love.

There are the obvious physical benefits, but different types of yoga are helpful with different goals, whether physical or mental.

For me, its a compliation of things.  It challenges me to be physically strong so I can hold poses and "flow" when the time comes in the sequence.  It challenges me to be mentally focused, to take my busy little brain and out it on pause for a few minutes. To not compare myself with others in the class.  To not have my cell phone on me for an entire hour a day.  It teaches me patience, as I am not good at not being good at things.  Im a generally athletic and competitive person but this is humbling, as most poses are gradual learning processes.

Overall, it creates a peacefulness in your heart.  I roll up my mat at the end of class, surrounded by people who are like minded but yet so different.  I feel more balanced, strong, in tune with my body and my heart and mind.  I am refereshed and my battery for life passion is always charged to the max.   It is just the best.

Namaste.

Great Art....

This though.... beautiful

Not Very United Airlines

I swear to god, there's a big black cloud named GONG SHOW that looms around me every single time I enter an airport.  Unfortunately for you, I drink too much vodka to remember most of the other GONG SHOW stories, I just remember the feeling of the GONG SHOW as I walk in those shitty automatic doors.  Airports just have that smell... Like a hospital mixed with a mangy dead raccoon. And of course, the smell of rotten intestines as we ALL know there's someone always shitting their pants nearby.

It started in Mexico this morning, as I was dragging my lopsided, one wheeled suitcase through the rickety streets of Playa Del Carmen. I decided that since I haven't had an income for 6 months, that maybe I should consider taking the $14 Greyhound instead of the $100 taxi (I know...gross)   Turns out, I survived, head in tact and all. I even knew enough Spanish to know the number "3" so finding my terminal was a walk in the park.   I get in and leave the balmy air for some good ol' bone chilling A/C. You know what DRIVES ME?!  When they make those back and forth wait lines that you have to walk up and back 1654 times to get the 15 feet to the check-in counter. This part was also awkward because I made solid eye contact with a mega hot chick (she had the coolest haircut) and I'm pretty sure she was a lesbian and she may (or may not have) been checking me out every one of those 1654 walks. (I mean, that wouldn't be that big of a deal, but I just didn't know how to act, ya know?  Do you do the same lean over the counter or the "accidental pen drop" as when there is a hot guy behind you?  If I was a lesbian checking out another girl, I'd just want her to bring me a piece of pizza and then we could just walk to the court house and Id put a fuckin ring on it. OH WAIT, that applies to me right now.  And boys, I'm single.    Veggie pizza with feta please.)

I'm not exactly some jet setting snob, buuuuut I'm not far from it.  I dont exactly show up with bombs taped to my legs and wonder the the hell I have to take my shoes off at security like some meatheads. I know how to dress for flights... Something comfortable, easy off/on shoes and something  warm because its always freezing. (But a tank top underneath because its always hot) Soooo this Irish man in front of me shows up like he's ready to spar in a fencing competition.  He looked like a fucking Knight. ARE YOU AN ASTRONAUT? Is this a DUMBASS CONTEST?!  WHYYYYY DEAR LORD?!  It was a long wait for him to get through the metal detector and by the end of it I pretty much had my foot up his ass while prodding him to get his 40 pound metal belt off.

I decided to just get away from the dumb people and resort to the fanciest looking wine bar and stay away from the slugs of the earth that hang out at Sbarro pizza (don't ask me why I know what it's called, I have noooo idea) so I order myself a water (seriously! No...like, SERIOUSLY) and a caprese salad.  Salad comes out and I'm wolfing it down like the mal-nurtured kid I am and guess what? There was a chunk of chicken in it!  I haven't eaten chicken in like 5 years and its half delicious but I'm half gagging because all I can think off is all the beakless, caged up, pecked up, featherless mutant of poor dying chickens that I have seen in my disgusting obsession with disgusting documentaries on Netflix.  Spit out chicken. Pay bill. Almost die.

I decide I'm going to wash the chicken flavour out of my mouth so I go on a hunt for a Starbucks.  Nothing that a little Hazelnut Macchiato can't wash away.  I'm standing in line checking out the menu when I notice a little Spanish señor staring at me.   Don't think much of it and keep looking at the menu... I look back and he's still staring. I make eye contact with him so he can see my zits and see that I'm not, in fact, Scarlett Johansson.    Well, he KEPT staring. I pick up my drink and bolt away... Only to find him lurking in the walkway. I look down and pretend to answer my phone and gypsy off around the corner and run away back to my gate. (Disclaimer: it's always scary being a girl by herself anywhere being approached by weird, staring men so stop fucking doing that, you jerks)   I feel a pang of relief when I see the C39 on the pole so I can slither away behind it with my Beyonce album.  WELL GUESS WHO ROLLS UP?  TONY.  That bastard found me. He continues to tell me his entire life story and asks for my phone number. I tell him I don't have a phone. He says he saw me answer it by Starbucks. Shitballs!  I want to tell him that its my friends phone and she in in the bathroom (you know, baaaad case of Mexican diarrhea) but that didn't seem smart because I didn't know how long he was going to sit there for. On a whim of trying to save my life and my first born child, I just told him my email instead.  Can't WAIT to read that one. I'll post it if he writes me.

The GONG SHOW is not even over yet. I notice the C39 gate has ZERO electrical outlets and since I've been blaring Beyonce for hours now, I decide to charge up the ol phone a tad to get me through the flight. I see 4 outlets by C38 so I take a gander, suspiciously eyeing up any more weirdos who might want my coveted email address.  I look over and spot an old man wearing an eye patch in beige cargo shorts that are hiked up to his gullet. His wife is plump, wearing a velour navy sweatsuit with a terrible blonde bob and progressive shading glasses.  No way in hell they even know what a computer is so I'm not scared of having to leak my hotmail to these weirdos.  I sit down on the floor beside them and we are bullshitting in no time.  My dad didn't pass along many genes (thank God) but the gift of the gab is something I thank him for.  We get talking about where we are coming from. They ask me, I say "Playa Del Carmen, you?"  "Bahamas" says the old man. I point at his eye patch and say "I KNEW there were Pirates in the Caribbean!" and continue to laugh like a drunken hyena. (I don't even know of the Bahamas are in the Caribbean)  He laughs too and makes a joke about losing his parrot! LOL!  His wife mentions something but I'm laughing too hard to hear her... And back to Beyonce I go...

So I board the plane. I'm right in between a ginger monster from Little Rock, Arkansas and a pleasant looking older man from Denver.  They were clearly reserved and conservative men, looking much like 70 year old Baptist pastors. We exchange hellos and like any normal, courteous, smart folk do, start thoroughly discussing American politics and laws on marijuana. Surprisingly, those ended well! I suddenly thought of the EXACT stories to share with these guys... A) getting in a drunken fight with Jenna Jameson in Vegas and B) the Sidney Crosby headboard sign.  Well holy cannoli, batman, you should have seen the looks on their faces! (the best part was having to explain who Jenna Jameson was)

So this is where I WANT TO DIE. For real though. No accidental chicken eating but seriously the worst feeling ever. We are just getting up to get off the plane and...

The Pirate!  Him and his Paris-Hilton-In-50-Years looking wife are just a row behind me!  I didn't even know they were on the same plane as me so, like a typical orphan, I feel like we are family. I yell across the aisle, while giggling like an asshole "Still no sign of your parrot?!"   His wife FEROCIOUSLY turns around and YELLS at me " IT'S NOT FUCKING FUNNY, HE JUST GOT HIS EYE REMOVED". Well. Well. Well.    She shut me right up and it was the worst.  I gave it a minute and leaned over and quietly said "I am so sorry. I would never mean to offend you".  Neither said a thing and that was that.  I felt like the hugest dink in the entire world and I hated myself... for 2 minutes... Until I heard her shit talking me when we were coming down the walkway.

Dumb Lady: "Well, I told HER straight. What a bitch."
Parrot Man: "Its okay"
Me: *Feeling TERRIBLE, walking quietly behind them, don't know if I should say anything, hating myself*
Dumb Lady: "No, it's not, what a rude bitch"
Parrot Man: "Don't worry about it"
Me: *Blood starts to boil, my mind is racing with what I should do next...  I said SORRY, and I know you're mad at me but I wasn't being a 'bitch', I had a good heart, geez.  He was joking too.. Fuck man, HE'S THE ONE THAT MADE THE PARROT JOKE IN THE FIRST PLACE*
Dumb Lady: "I can't believe her, what a thoughtless ...."
Parrot Man: "Shhh she's RIGHT behind us"
Me: *Does a running drop kick and kicks her right in the ass*.
JUST KIDDING. I did not kick her in the ass but I wanted to. Holy shit, I wanted to so bad.  Especially after I was making Naomi Campbell jokes earlier. SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT COULD HAVE HAPPENED. Just kidding.  I respect my elders so I graciously said, while gritting my teeth into fucking tic-tacs,
Me: "I'm truly sorry sir, I thought we were joking and I didn't mean to offend you"
Parrot Man: "Seriously, it's okay, don't worry."
Dumb Lady: (yelling, again) "JUST DROP IT ALREADY!"
Me: *somebody, hold me back quick!*   Just kidding. Again. I wouldn't do that. But now I REALLY wanted to smack those ugly glasses off her face.  But you know what I did instead, I yelled back.
Me: "Well, you're being really rude too!!!"
And then I literally sprinted away like I was a gazelle rounding 3rd base for a home run in the bottom of the ninth to win the fucking World Series. And then... I cried.

I wish I was lying to you. But I'm not. This is my life. And this is the GONG SHOW I call air travel.  Bastard Wright brothers.. Ruined everything.

I'm happy to report that I'm on my descent into Saskatoon right now, reporting this nonsense from the air. A baby only screamed for the first hour, the pant shitting has been at a minimum and the flight attendant has only a mild case of the popular condescending asshole virus.   Oh, and a guy totally rubbed his balls on my arm but whatever....minor detail.

And Im even happier to report that Im now at home, editing this with ichiban in my lap. Those who know me know that this is what my dreams are made of.

xo, lace

Laceys Ten Days of Christmas- Day 8

These are a few quotes that spoke to me in some way this year.  Some are pretty cliche but I think they are all pretty relatable.  They all spoke to me in one way or another. 

Laceys 10 Days of Christmas- Day 7

Well I feel like I have to go the stereotypical route of resolutions since it is, after all,  January 1!

First of all, happy new year!  I dont know what it is about the first day of the calendar year that gets us all fired up inside, but it definitely does.  A chance for a new beginning, to do the things you have always wanted to do, see all the things you wanted to see and of course, lose 150 lbs.  Sound about right?  Haha sounds typical to me.   Ive never once held up my resolution but I still think its fun to make them.  If not for anything else than to point out and exploit your weaknesses to the world wide web.   A few of my resolutions this year:

1)  More Yoga.
 I love yoga so much and 2013 was the first year that I started taking it a bit more seriously.  I havent nailed down what I love about it, but theres something special about it, for sure.  Maybe Ill even become a teacher one day :)

2) Drink more water.
Not necessarily 8 glasses of water each day as I believe in baby steps.  Just drinking a bit more would be awesome for me, even if thats just one cup a day.  Next year Ill work on 8 glasses a day.

3) Read more books.
I seriously love love love reading books, but I just dont do it enough.  I have 3 books that are burning holes on my shelf that I cant wait to read in Mexico.  Id like to read 8 books this year.

4) Blog more.
I love coming on here and blabbering away about my life.  Its fun for me and its so nice getting feedback from people who enjoy reading it.  So, thank you, for those who do.  And kiss my ass for those who dont.  jk.

5) Spend more time making time
I want to make more time for my loved ones.  Whether its just another 5 minute phone call to a cousin on their birthday or a golf trip with my brothers.   If I found out tomorrow that I only had a few months to live, those are the folks Id be spending my time with, yet I dont seem to make time for them in average day.  That doesnt seem right, does it?

6) Build shit
Im GOING to build something badass this year.  Most likely in the form of a bird feeder at a Home Depot class (and I can hardly wait)

7) Take a class
Take a random class on something like painting or swimming... ANYTHING, really.  I have a few highlighted that I am interested in, mainly photography.

8) Master my Canon
I want to take magnificent photos and now is the time to learn.  Hopefully #7 will help me with this one.

9) Shave 30 mins of my next half marathon

10) Judge LESS.  Love MORE
Everyone is so busy being so bloody judge-y sometimes that I actually find it unbearable and have to walk away from conversations from time to time.  Theres no room to love people if you judge them.  Everyone in this world has a purpose and a passion and we all have a responsibility to accept that.

My wish for you is that you find something you are looking for in this new year.  Cheers xo

Laceys 10 Days of Christmas Day 6

I didnt forget about my 10 Days of Christmas, and even if I did, I was harassed for not getting it done.  Im happy though, that means that some of you guys actually enjoy my nonsense! :)  The issue is that I moved my living situation to my brothers and it was quite the search to find the wireless password, therefore I didnt have the internet!  Moving onnn.....

Introduced to me a few years ago by Julie, I have become an intense fan of Post Secret.  Post Secret was formed by a guy named Frank Warren who decided one day to have strangers anonymously mail their craziest secret to him.  He then decided to publish a few books with the secrets.  He also has a website that is updated every Sunday with new postcards full of secrets.  This project speaks to my heart so often.  So many souls out there have secrets you would never expect.  Sometimes I laugh and sometimes I even cry.  These are a few of the ones that got me this year.

I think we have all been in this position!  What a good way to look at it lol

Ahhhhh so romantic

Animals rule my heart

Story of my life

Id die to know who it is!!!

Uggggh this one kills me

Needing people and have them need me is something I personally struggle with

I know this feeling all too well.  Ill never buy non Heinz ketchup and I feel lucky that I can afford it.
Thanks for doing your best though, momma.

Yes!  Hope!!

Hahah right?!  I needed to see this!

This one also just hurts my heart... cant imagine

Always gotta find a good way to look at things.  I have lots of people to thank for some important life lessons

Hahaha I know a few folks who should think this way :)

(I always drink out of the milk jug.  Sorry)

Laceys Ten Days of Christmas- Day 5

What a great life it is when you actually cant decide the top 10 moments of your year!  This post is putting things in perspective for me big time right now... I feel grateful and a tad undeserving to be honest.  This year was a tough one in a lot of ways, with most recently moving out of Fort McMurray, closing our business and the change of a few really important relationships.  Life has a way of bringing you back down when you need a time out.  2013 was a year of adventures but Im looking to chill (just a little bit) in 2014 and make a few decisions that are getting a little more necessary as I get a bit older.  Twenty seven might be a good time to start considering a career, hey? Haha Here are my Top 10 Memories of 2013! In No order!

1) My 27th Birthday Weekend!

For my birthday weekend, my good friend Maegan flew up to Fort McMurray (with perfect cupcakes in tow, I must add!) and we went out on the town with some of my most fave beauties in the entire world, Jaylene, Kari, Becky and Cassidy. The next day we stopped at the cabin to see Darren and his fam before heading to Edmonton to celebrate Kostons 2nd Birthday and another birthday night out with Lindsay, Clayton, Delshani, Maegan, Craig and Becky at the Red Piano as well as many other Edmonton friends.  Such a great weekend surrounded by some amazing people.

Kari, Jaylene, Cassidy and I

Linds, Delshani and I at the Red Piano

Myself, Becky and Maeg at the Red Piano

Del, Linds, Aunty Puff, Maeg and I at Kostons 2nd Birthday 

2) Lady Gaga in Toronto with Julie!

In February, I flew out to Toronto to spend some much needed time with my girl Julie.  We had a great time that week just hanging out, a few lunches, few evening drinks, and an awesome time at Lady Gaga.  We are both big fans of Gaga so sharing this experience together and singing our hearts out between gulps of arena beer was so much fun!

3) Winter in NYC

While I was in Toronto, flights to NYC were only $49 each way so I snagged a ticket and cruised across the border to the Big Apple.  I absolutely love New York and all of its glamour (and disgust).  Such an interesting place.  I did tons of touristy stuff and enjoyed a Broadway show and a Ben Howard concert which was amazing. It was a fun little solo trip and definitely broke up the long winter and soothed my travel itch!

Central Park in all of its elegance

4) Easter at the Veale Residence

I live for family time so this was just awesome!  The entire Veale clan were all home in Saskatoon  and we had so much fun harassing the kids and eating too much chocolate.  Lots of other cousins stopped over to visit so it was just a really nice time to take it easy and relax and laugh with my loved ones.

The Veales with their grandbubs!

 5) Getting my new Whip!

The secret to not hating EVERY second of winter is to not drive a toboggan on wheels!  

Thank you Subaru for a (so far) enjoyable winter

My first trip in The Suby was to Banff National Park right after I got the keys!

6) Caring Hearts Camp

Caring Hearts Camp is a camp for children who are greiving the loss of a loved one.  I went to the camp when I was dealing with the loss of my mom so having the opportunity to go back and meet and share those insanely intense and emotional times with grieving kids is the first thing that made me feel like my struggles had a purpose.  I cant describe what it feels like, but putting my arms around those kids and feeling their tears through my shirt and knowing that they now know they arent alone.. well, there are just no words.  I got this in an email from my director recently and it brought tears to my eyes.  It is just THEE most special thing to me. 

 7) Turtle Lake 

My final stop on my summer vaction was to the Veale cabin at Turtle Lake.  We have spent many awesome weekends at the cabin over the years, and this was the final one as the cabin has now been sold :(

We had a great time with family and friends, playing cards and volleyball.  Even stitches and lots of rain couldnt keep the laughs and good times away.

Wouldnt be a family pic if we werent in a pyramid!

  
8) My First Half Marathon 

Not sure if this should be in this category as it was also the worst 3 hours of my entire life lol

Linds, Craig and I ran the Melissas Road Race Half Marathon in Banff in September and Im just FINALLY able to walk straight again (wait... maybe thats the vodkas fault lol)

Jumping over the finish line!  Pre-Barf sesh!

 9) Longshots Closing Party(ies)

This was obviously extremely sad as well, but some of the best times I have ever had at Longshots were in its last month, as it had the NOW OR NEVER vibe and I wasnt as concerned about my professionalism lol  Parties were had every weekend leading up to the end, and we created some awesome memories that I never want to forget. Ill miss Longshots, but I know we couldnt have ended it any better.

Leanne, Gord, Becky, Linds and I on the Customer Appreciation weekend

10) #BadBitchesTour2013

Becky and I went on a wild 6-week trip through central and eastern America and Canada.  We hit up some mega rad events such as 3 NFL games, 3 NHL games, 2 NBA games, a Kanye West concert, a million bagel shops and two million pubs!  SO MUCH FUN!  I have more posts on the tour coming up after the 10 Days of Christmas!

Look familiar? LOL

 11) Not to be forgotten..... just not enough photos!

TJ and Karis Garage Party!

Darrens 30th Birthday Party!