Alright folks, listen to this. Today marks one month of my consistent gym-going AND drinking lots of water AND not eating trash.
AND Ive lost..... drumroll please..... ZERO POUNDS! Yay?
If someone knows what the hell is going on here, that would be amazing... Im pretty much waiting for Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me that Im being "Punkd" and that Im pretty much down to my weight in grade nine. Ashton, come on man.. times up.. seriously.
Actually Im not too concerned about losing a couple lbs yet.. obviously that would have been a wonderful discovery any of these last mornings, but the #1 reason I want to see numbers dive on the scale is so that I have motivation to kee my ass going back! Yes! Thats how lazy I am!
How Ive Made It This Far
1) Find a gym partner... having one who is in better shape is awesome because it makes you feel like a lazy piece of doodoo when youre ready to quit after 12 seconds
2) Pretend Sidney Crosby is walking by when youre almost ready to give up.
3) Tunes. Turn. That. Shit. Up.
4) Buy some sweet new threads that are only for wearing to the gym.
5) Remember that every 5 pounds is pretty much carrying a baby... 15-20lbs is a g'damn toddler
6) Tell yourself that water is going extinct and you need to chug it every chance you get or youre pretty much going to die, and so is your family.
7) Get to the point, dont dilly dally arund and waste a bunch of time. We already know the gym is a pain in the ass, just get it over with.
8) Think of your body as a little car... Needs fuel and flushes and washing and ... waxing?
9) Dont say/ think anything about your body that you wouldnt want a stranger to say/think about your body.
10) Dont stop. Just go every day, even for a swim or a few laps just to keep it a habit. Eating healthy is WAY easier when youre working out because you dont want to be working out for nothing.
11) My friend Kari intrduced me to bodyrock.tv which has great short exercises which are as hard as Don Cherry in a Cialis factory but are so quick that they are tolerable.
12) My cousin Angel told me about an app on the IPhone called "Couch to 5K" which assists you in training to run 5km without stopping or walking. Amazing. Maybe grandma wont beat me in my breast cancer marathon this year.
I was going to put up the dreaded picture of me in a bathing suit just to keep the pressure on nice and thick. Nothing like everyone seeing you in your gitch on the internet, but hell, if that doesnt work than Im just gonna spend my money on a boob job and nobody will look at the rest of me again. However, we'll just say I cant find my bathing suit. Thats code for "maybe when I drop my first 10 lbs"
Ill keep you posted on my progress!